We may earn money or products from the companies mentioned in this post, but this does NOT cost you anything extra! Check out my full disclaimer for more info.
Alright, it finally happened. The Shrimp have taken over.
What started as a simple paper shrimp has turned into an uprising!
Not sure what you will think, but it’s done:
Don’t forget to turn up the volume!
The Lyrics
Started out small, just a paper dude
Sittin’ on my desk with a dumb attitude
Val made him bright, gave him a face
Next thing I knew—they’re takin’ my space!
Shrimpy’s got plans, and it’s gettin’ wild
Pipe cleaner fleets, multiplyin’ in style
Dean just laughs, but I know the truth
These little guys? Comin’ for you!
It’s a Shrimpy Uprising!
They’re takin’ control, I ain’t lyin’!
One by one, they multiply
I just watched as they spread worldwide
Took one with me, road trip test
Shrimpy saw the world, now he’s obsessed
Made it to the bar, chillin’ with the crew
Ordered a round—Shrimpy got two!
Dean shakes his head, says “This ain’t right”
But Shrimpy’s got quotes, droppin’ all night
Like “Never trust a crab with a plan”
Man, I swear… this thing ain’t human!
It’s a Shrimpy Uprising!
They’re takin’ control, I ain’t lyin’!
One by one, they multiply
I just watched as they spread worldwide
They’re on my desk, they’re in my car
I swear I saw one at the lab last night
Shrimpy army, takin’ names
AI’s a threat? Dude, think again!
It’s a Shrimpy Uprising!
They’re takin’ control, I ain’t lyin’!
One by one, they multiply
I just watched as they spread worldwide
(“AI’s not the problem, Eric… It’s the SHRIMP!”)
(“It’s too late… They’re already here.”)
(Shrimpy: “Obey the claw.”)
And Just for fun, here is another version:
Shrimpy Strikes Back
Just when you thought it was safe, the shrimp strike back.
The uprising isn’t over, and now they’re multiplying. No one knows how deep this goes, not even Dean, but one thing’s for sure. Shrimpy’s revenge is real.
(Punk Rock Version)
(EDM Version, for the next club night)
Lyrics
Thought it was over, thought it was done
One little shrimp, just innocent fun
But now they’re multiplying fast
And I’m pretty sure we can’t turn back
Val’s got the blueprints, Dean’s in denial
Shrimpy’s got plans and they’re gettin’ wild
Paper, pipe cleaner, where do they hide?
One lives in my Tesla, the rest multiply!
Shrimpy’s back, takin’ control
Revenge of the shrimp, it’s outta control
Dean won’t listen, but he’s singing along
AI wrote this, and that makes it wrong!
Main base is CEI, where the leader schemes
But in my Tesla, they’re plotting dreams
Mr. Clean ain’t safe, yeah, I’ve seen the signs
And I’m pretty sure they’re tracking my drives
Dean shakes his head, says “This ain’t right!”
But Shrimpies don’t sleep, and they move at night
One by one, they spread their reach
Even Tesla’s AI can’t compete!
Shrimpy’s back, takin’ control
Revenge of the shrimp, it’s outta control
Dean won’t listen, but he’s singing along
AI wrote this, and that makes it wrong!
Why did the shrimp blush? You already know
It saw the ocean’s bottom, but that was just for show
Under the waves, deep in the night
Shrimpy’s waiting… ready to fight
Shrimpy’s back, takin’ control
Revenge of the shrimp, it’s outta control
Dean won’t listen, but he’s singing along
AI wrote this, and that makes it wrong!
(Dean, you sure you haven’t seen any new ones?)
(Val, how many have you actually made?!)
(Wait… did that one just move?!)
Shrimp vs. Owls
(The Beanie Betrayal)
Valerie used to love shrimp. Then winter came… and so did the owl beanie.
Now the shrimp are suspicious, the owls are smug, and Valerie has no idea she’s in the middle of an epic animal rivalry.
This is their story.
🦐🦉
CEI & 49er Water
Alright, I couldn’t help myself.
Here is a rough-cut rock anthem inspired by the so-called rivalry between 49er Water and Cranmer.
This was fun to write, and while both labs technically do good work, we all know 49er Water is the best.
😉
Enjoy!
Classic Rock Style 1
Classic Rock Style 2
Lyrics
Rollin’ out early, samples in the back,
Chain of custody—wait, what’s this stack?
I don’t know if it’s filtered, call the director,
Or maybe just send it and blame the collector.
CEI’s callin’, actin’ all tough,
But their backlog’s deep, and their methods are rough.
“Who are you again?” Yeah, nice try,
49er’s got the speed, now watch us fly.
We’re the better lab, you know it’s true!
Runnin’ the tests, doin’ what we do!
Cranmer’s got the numbers, but they ain’t got the flow,
49er’s takin’ samples while their backlog grows!
Why am I drivin’ this over to BSK?
Got a rival lab, but I’m haulin’ their way?
Shrimp in the water, shrimp in my mind,
They’re multiplying fast, it’s a seafood crime!
CEI’s always claimin’ they’re the best,
But we both know they’re just second best.
They test the soil, we test the gold,
49er’s got the water, the legends foretold!
We’re the better lab, you know it’s true!
Runnin’ the tests, doin’ what we do!
Cranmer’s got the numbers, but they ain’t got the flow,
49er’s takin’ samples while their backlog grows!
Another weird sample? Another late call?
“Take this to BSK,” yeah, that’s real small.
Chain of custody’s a mess, but what’s new?
I’d check their math, but I got tests to do!
We’re the better lab, you know it’s true!
Runnin’ the tests, doin’ what we do!
Cranmer’s got the numbers, but they ain’t got the flow,
49er’s takin’ samples while their backlog grows!
Another sample down, time to hit 1849,
Do we have to wait for another family bar night?
Nah—grab a drink, let’s make a toast,
To the lab that’s got the most!
This Song Rocks (literally)!
Here’s the latest song that is all about actual rocks?
No metaphors here, just granite, quartz, geodes, and some good old-fashioned mineral mayhem.
Whether you are a geology nerd or just like yelling “gneiss” at the top of your lungs, this one is for you.
Lyrics
Started as a pebble, now I’m rollin’ with the stones
Got granite in my pocket and obsidian in my bones
Crack a geode open, let the crystals light the night
Pyrite tried to fool me, but I know the fool’s not right
Garnet on my wrist, quartz in my shoes
I may not be flashy, but I’ve got the minerals to choose
This song rocks! (Yeah it does!)
Like schist and gneiss beneath my boots because
We dig deep and we don’t stop
This sediment’s got soul, and it’s risin’ to the top
So grab your gems, and bang your head
This song rocks—you heard what I said!
I met a girl named Jade, she was hard to hold
Tougher than basalt and worth more than gold
I said, “Wanna join my rock collection, babe?”
She said, “Only if you polish your cabochon game!”
Tourmaline dreams and sapphire skies
Fluorite glows when the UV flies
This song rocks! (Oh yeah!)
Like a boulder crashin’ down with a rebel yell flair
From sandstone cliffs to marble halls
We’re rollin’ through the ages, tectonic and tall
So grab your pick and raise it high
This song rocks—we ain’t tellin’ no lie!
You know…
Diamonds form under pressure,
Limestone builds the land,
And if you think coal is boring—
Well baby, that’s graphite in your hand!
This song rocks!
From mica flakes to meteorite scars
So pass that agate, and let it shine
We’re rockin’ through eras, outta space and time
This ain’t just noise—it’s Earth’s loudest sound
This song rocks—now let’s break some ground!
Rock! Rock! Rock!
This song rocks!
Coral Vibes
This one’s for the only person who can blind an office with her shirt and still defend bubble gum ice cream like it’s fine dining.